The Signs You Keep Ignoring: A Warning from the Worst Marriage in the Bible
The Signs You Keep Ignoring: A Warning from the Worst Marriage in the Bible
We all grow up believing love will be easy. We imagine meeting the right person, the music swelling, credits rolling, and everything working out perfectly. But real life doesn't feel like the movies. Real love is piles of laundry, hard conversations, mountains of forgiveness, and staying when it would be easier to walk away.
Whether you're single, dating, married, divorced, healing, or hoping, we all want the same thing—something real. Not fake, not temporary, not fragile. We want love that lasts.
But here's the truth: the best love stories aren't perfect stories. They're faithful stories.
The Worst Marriage in Scripture
The Bible gives us a sobering example in Ahab and Jezebel—arguably the worst marriage in all of Scripture. Their relationship serves not just as ancient history, but as a warning for our relationships today.
Ahab was the seventh king of Israel's northern kingdom, ruling around 874 BC. The Bible tells us that "Ahab did more to provoke the anger of the Lord, the God of Israel, than any other of the kings of Israel before him" (1 Kings 16:33). That's quite a resume to have on God's radar.
But Ahab didn't start out worshiping false gods. He once worshiped Yahweh, the one true God. So what changed? His wife, Jezebel—a Phoenician princess who worshiped the false god Baal. Under her influence, Ahab not only turned away from God but led an entire nation astray.
First Kings 21:25 puts it bluntly: "No one else so completely sold himself to what was evil in the Lord's sight as Ahab did under the influence of his wife Jezebel."
Their rebellion didn't just hurt their marriage—it hurt an entire nation.
Two Dangerous Dynamics
Most relationships don't fall apart all at once. They're torn apart slowly, little by little, often by two dangerous dynamics: a controlling spirit that seeks to dominate, and a passive spirit that refuses to engage.
In almost every compromised relationship, you'll see some combination of these two forces at work.
The Problem of Passivity
Before Jezebel took control, Ahab was already avoiding responsibility. The Hebrew text actually describes him as acting like "a big baby."
Consider this story: Ahab wanted his neighbor Naboth's vineyard to grow vegetables. But under Mosaic law, ancestral land couldn't be sold outside the family. When Naboth refused, how did the king of a nation respond?
"Ahab went home angry and sullen... The king went to his bed with his face to the wall and refused to eat" (1 Kings 21:4).
A royal temper tantrum. He didn't negotiate, didn't pray, didn't try to solve the problem. He just accepted defeat and pouted.
This is passivity at its worst.
Three red flags of a passive spirit:
Lack of direction and rarely taking initiative
Avoiding hard conversations
Deferring responsibility and making excuses
Psychologists tell us that the opposite of love isn't hate—it's apathy. At least hate still cares. But apathy has given up. It has no pursuit, no direction, no passion.
And here's the sobering reality: a passive heart in dating leads to a passive partner in marriage.
The Biblical Example
Think about the first sin in the Bible. Eve ate the forbidden fruit, right? But have you ever considered where Adam was?
Genesis 3:6 tells us: "She also gave some to her husband, who was with her, and he ate it."
Adam was right there. He saw the serpent, heard the lie, and did absolutely nothing. Eve's sin was rebellion, but Adam's sin was passivity.
Men, this is a wake-up call. You're not called just to be a man—you're called to be a man of God. Your wife shouldn't be leading your household in spiritual matters. You should be out front, praying, reading your Bible, not giving your children a choice about whether they'll serve God.
Statistics show that when the father goes to church first, 88% of the rest of the family will follow. That's the power of spiritual leadership.
The Controlling Spirit
While Ahab sulked, Jezebel took action—in the worst possible way.
"Is this how you act as king over Israel?" she mocked. "Get up and eat something. Cheer up. I'll get you Naboth's vineyard" (1 Kings 21:7).
Notice what she didn't do. She didn't encourage him. She didn't pray for him. She didn't remind him of God's goodness or faithfulness. Instead, she shamed him and took control.
Then she did something truly evil—she forged Ahab's name, plotted to murder an innocent man, and had Naboth killed so Ahab could take the vineyard.
Three red flags of a controlling spirit:
Using guilt or pressure to manipulate
Refusing to trust, constantly checking and monitoring
Making all the decisions while dismissing your voice
When a spouse feels they must control every aspect of the relationship, it reveals a deeper problem—a lack of trust in God and in their partner.
The Power of Words
Your words will shape your relationship for better or for worse. Proverbs 18:21 reminds us: "The tongue has the power of life and death."
Most men are far more insecure than they let on. When you constantly tell someone what they can't do, odds are they'll never do it—because they become what you see in them and what you say about them.
Instead of complaining, try encouragement. Instead of tearing down, build up.
The same holds true for men. If your woman feels valued, cherished, treasured, and protected, she will radiate spiritual strength, confidence, and inner beauty. But if you're constantly belittling her, she'll question her worth and forget who God created her to be.
The Real Problem
The biggest problem in Ahab and Jezebel's relationship wasn't just control and passivity issues. The real problem was the absence of God.
They weren't seeking God—they were seeking a false god. And that's the problem in many relationships today.
Maybe you're not worshiping a golden idol, but are you worshiping money? Status? Popularity? Pleasure? Your own will? Anything you give primary attention to becomes what you worship.
Step one: Seek first the kingdom of God.
If you can't get it right with God, you'll have a hard time getting it right with anyone else.
There's Always a Way Back
Here's the hope in this story: When Ahab heard God's judgment through the prophet Elijah, it broke him. He tore his clothes, put on sackcloth, and fasted—a public display of repentance.
His repentance didn't change his past, but it did change his future. Because he repented, God had mercy on him.
No matter how bad a relationship may be, no matter how broken your marriage is, there's always a way back to God. Always.
The Bible tells us all things are possible with God.
Moving Forward
Maybe you recognize yourself in this story—too passive or too controlling. Maybe you've been putting other things before God. Maybe your relationship is on the rocks.
The invitation today is simple: turn your heart back to God. Stop pointing fingers. Ask for forgiveness. Seek Him first.
Because when God is the author of your story, love doesn't just survive—it thrives.
Whatever you put into a relationship is what you'll get out of it. Marriage isn't just a relationship; it's a commitment. It's sacrifice after sacrifice after sacrifice.
And if you put God first in your relationship, you will have a godly relationship.
The signs are there. The question is: will you keep ignoring them, or will you finally pay attention?
We all grow up believing love will be easy. We imagine meeting the right person, the music swelling, credits rolling, and everything working out perfectly. But real life doesn't feel like the movies. Real love is piles of laundry, hard conversations, mountains of forgiveness, and staying when it would be easier to walk away.
Whether you're single, dating, married, divorced, healing, or hoping, we all want the same thing—something real. Not fake, not temporary, not fragile. We want love that lasts.
But here's the truth: the best love stories aren't perfect stories. They're faithful stories.
The Worst Marriage in Scripture
The Bible gives us a sobering example in Ahab and Jezebel—arguably the worst marriage in all of Scripture. Their relationship serves not just as ancient history, but as a warning for our relationships today.
Ahab was the seventh king of Israel's northern kingdom, ruling around 874 BC. The Bible tells us that "Ahab did more to provoke the anger of the Lord, the God of Israel, than any other of the kings of Israel before him" (1 Kings 16:33). That's quite a resume to have on God's radar.
But Ahab didn't start out worshiping false gods. He once worshiped Yahweh, the one true God. So what changed? His wife, Jezebel—a Phoenician princess who worshiped the false god Baal. Under her influence, Ahab not only turned away from God but led an entire nation astray.
First Kings 21:25 puts it bluntly: "No one else so completely sold himself to what was evil in the Lord's sight as Ahab did under the influence of his wife Jezebel."
Their rebellion didn't just hurt their marriage—it hurt an entire nation.
Two Dangerous Dynamics
Most relationships don't fall apart all at once. They're torn apart slowly, little by little, often by two dangerous dynamics: a controlling spirit that seeks to dominate, and a passive spirit that refuses to engage.
In almost every compromised relationship, you'll see some combination of these two forces at work.
The Problem of Passivity
Before Jezebel took control, Ahab was already avoiding responsibility. The Hebrew text actually describes him as acting like "a big baby."
Consider this story: Ahab wanted his neighbor Naboth's vineyard to grow vegetables. But under Mosaic law, ancestral land couldn't be sold outside the family. When Naboth refused, how did the king of a nation respond?
"Ahab went home angry and sullen... The king went to his bed with his face to the wall and refused to eat" (1 Kings 21:4).
A royal temper tantrum. He didn't negotiate, didn't pray, didn't try to solve the problem. He just accepted defeat and pouted.
This is passivity at its worst.
Three red flags of a passive spirit:
Lack of direction and rarely taking initiative
Avoiding hard conversations
Deferring responsibility and making excuses
Psychologists tell us that the opposite of love isn't hate—it's apathy. At least hate still cares. But apathy has given up. It has no pursuit, no direction, no passion.
And here's the sobering reality: a passive heart in dating leads to a passive partner in marriage.
The Biblical Example
Think about the first sin in the Bible. Eve ate the forbidden fruit, right? But have you ever considered where Adam was?
Genesis 3:6 tells us: "She also gave some to her husband, who was with her, and he ate it."
Adam was right there. He saw the serpent, heard the lie, and did absolutely nothing. Eve's sin was rebellion, but Adam's sin was passivity.
Men, this is a wake-up call. You're not called just to be a man—you're called to be a man of God. Your wife shouldn't be leading your household in spiritual matters. You should be out front, praying, reading your Bible, not giving your children a choice about whether they'll serve God.
Statistics show that when the father goes to church first, 88% of the rest of the family will follow. That's the power of spiritual leadership.
The Controlling Spirit
While Ahab sulked, Jezebel took action—in the worst possible way.
"Is this how you act as king over Israel?" she mocked. "Get up and eat something. Cheer up. I'll get you Naboth's vineyard" (1 Kings 21:7).
Notice what she didn't do. She didn't encourage him. She didn't pray for him. She didn't remind him of God's goodness or faithfulness. Instead, she shamed him and took control.
Then she did something truly evil—she forged Ahab's name, plotted to murder an innocent man, and had Naboth killed so Ahab could take the vineyard.
Three red flags of a controlling spirit:
Using guilt or pressure to manipulate
Refusing to trust, constantly checking and monitoring
Making all the decisions while dismissing your voice
When a spouse feels they must control every aspect of the relationship, it reveals a deeper problem—a lack of trust in God and in their partner.
The Power of Words
Your words will shape your relationship for better or for worse. Proverbs 18:21 reminds us: "The tongue has the power of life and death."
Most men are far more insecure than they let on. When you constantly tell someone what they can't do, odds are they'll never do it—because they become what you see in them and what you say about them.
Instead of complaining, try encouragement. Instead of tearing down, build up.
The same holds true for men. If your woman feels valued, cherished, treasured, and protected, she will radiate spiritual strength, confidence, and inner beauty. But if you're constantly belittling her, she'll question her worth and forget who God created her to be.
The Real Problem
The biggest problem in Ahab and Jezebel's relationship wasn't just control and passivity issues. The real problem was the absence of God.
They weren't seeking God—they were seeking a false god. And that's the problem in many relationships today.
Maybe you're not worshiping a golden idol, but are you worshiping money? Status? Popularity? Pleasure? Your own will? Anything you give primary attention to becomes what you worship.
Step one: Seek first the kingdom of God.
If you can't get it right with God, you'll have a hard time getting it right with anyone else.
There's Always a Way Back
Here's the hope in this story: When Ahab heard God's judgment through the prophet Elijah, it broke him. He tore his clothes, put on sackcloth, and fasted—a public display of repentance.
His repentance didn't change his past, but it did change his future. Because he repented, God had mercy on him.
No matter how bad a relationship may be, no matter how broken your marriage is, there's always a way back to God. Always.
The Bible tells us all things are possible with God.
Moving Forward
Maybe you recognize yourself in this story—too passive or too controlling. Maybe you've been putting other things before God. Maybe your relationship is on the rocks.
The invitation today is simple: turn your heart back to God. Stop pointing fingers. Ask for forgiveness. Seek Him first.
Because when God is the author of your story, love doesn't just survive—it thrives.
Whatever you put into a relationship is what you'll get out of it. Marriage isn't just a relationship; it's a commitment. It's sacrifice after sacrifice after sacrifice.
And if you put God first in your relationship, you will have a godly relationship.
The signs are there. The question is: will you keep ignoring them, or will you finally pay attention?
Posted in Love Series
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